Relationships and Sex
I was a professional relationship and sex therapist from 2016-2023. I opened a private practice, Viridian Counseling, in 2019.
I formerly held an LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapy) license in Washington state. I voluntarily let it lapse in 2023 as I pivoted into full-time work on preventing AI disasters.
These days, I’m still interested in the theory and practice of relationships, sex, and kink, but it’s no longer my professional career and I no longer take clients.
Relationship and sex blog articles
Handouts from my private therapy practice
Red Means No, the private CNC orgies I co-run with Aella and other orgynizers
Slutcon, an annual conference I’m involved in
Relationship and Sex Blog Articles
I blog at Integration by Parts. Most of the articles I wrote in 2022 and 2023 were about relationships and sex.
Here are some of the most popular ones, though there are a lot more great ones in the archives.
Three Dimensional Sex. I describe three different ways to have sex — which is your natural style?
Three Perverted Days in Portland. A travelogue of a kink convention.
I Feel Like You’re an Asshole. Ineffective communication.
In addition, some of the Letters to Boys blog articles are also pretty relevant here:
Narrative Sex. Sex that advances the plot.
Building Trust. A very personal account of a kinky date.
Therapy Handouts
From 2019-2023 I ran a therapy private practice called Viridian Counseling, specializing in relationships and sex therapy. I especially enjoyed working with high-conflict couples and those on the brink of divorce. I like high stakes!
Here are some of the handouts I created for my therapy practice. I still end up using these regularly when giving advice to friends.
They’re all in the same world-readable folder.
Sharing Difficult Information. Use this when you need to reveal something important to someone else.
Repair and Apology. A fairly advanced set of instructions for repairing emotional damage in a relationship. Prerequisite: you must already know how to pass each other’s ITT about the problem.
Taking a Stand. A better way to take a strong position than giving an ultimatum.
Making Joint Decisions. Also pretty advanced, also has ITTs as a prereq.
Quick Safer Sex Conversations. An easy mnemonic to cover the basics efficiently.
Non-monogamy discussion topics. A checklist of topics to go over with your partner when you’re opening up.
Red Means No
Some friends and I run private consensual non-consent orgies on a semi-regular basis. You can apply to attend.
Here’s the main RMN website.
SlutCon
Some of those same friends run a probably-annual conference called SlutCon. I was a presenter last year and I’ll be appearing again this year.
Last year I gave presentations on having a helpful mindset about rejection, as well as jealousy in non-monogamy. I also gave private 1:1 consultations to the highest tier of ticket-holders and I spoke on the Autistic Girls panel. It was a fantastic conference and I’m very much looking forward to going back this year.